African-American Women in Leadership Conference 2012

Greetings My Sisters!

It's been a very long time since I've written to you all.  I want to share with you the great and awesome movement of God at Lake Junaluska last weekend.  There were 80 women as far North as Buffalo, NY, far West as Mississippi and as far as Florida.  Thursday night service opened up with a sermon from the Rev. Dr. Bernice Kirkland and worship leader Christal Brown-Gibson.  

We as leaders in the church, we need avenues like this that will draw us closer as clergy and laity.  It is time to work together as one so we can build the church.  In the building of the church we must recognize the spiritual gifts God has placed in us.  This workshop was presented by Rev. Candace Lewis and myself.  We continued to talk about leadership and gifts with the Rev. Telley Gadson.

On Friday afternoon, we starting talk about relationship and the desire to be in one as single clergy and how not to sabotage our relationship either married or single this was lead by Rev. Dr. Sheron Patterson (The Love Doctor) and Ms. Kendra Ross.  We closed out Thursday night with a healing service with the Rev. Telley Lynnette Gadson.

When Saturday came we really didn't want to leave the mountain but Dr. Kirkland sent us forth with a message that encouraged us for the work in the valley.  Words really can not express how I felt coming down the mountain.  It truly was a sight to see the movement of God when we are obedient.  

When I find my notes I will give you more to read.  In the mean time keep your head up and remember we can't always stay on the Mountain and we must go into the wilderness as Jesus did. 

Peace and Love!!!

Charlotte SistersNMinistry Breakfast

After a long summer break, we are restarting the monthly breakfast. The Breakfast will be the 4th Saturday at 9am @ Maria's Grill in Derita. All Clergy women are invited and welcome to join us for our time. This is just true downtime. Come the way you feel and just enjoy the bonds of sisterhood.

Caretakers

We the women called by God to feed the sheep. We also are the caretakers for our spouses, children and parents. Just because we hold the position as pastor or minister we are not removed from being caretakers to our family.

Typically we as women will put ourselves last so we can run ourselves in the ground caring for others first. There comes a time when we need to make ourselves a priority. We need an outlet to just be real with ourselves and others sisters in ministry.

It still amaze me that some brothers still expect us to run the entire household when we come home from a long day at church dealing with financial issues, martial and relationship issues, staff issues and congregation care. I noticed many of the brothers who are in ministry may not lift a finger to do a thing knowing their spouse works outside the home. There needs to be a balance when both work outside the home.

When we are the caregivers let us share the responsibility with others so we do not burn ourselves out or unable to provide the accurate care needed. Rethink caregiving and what can be done to change the perception that only woman can be the best caregiver.

Ministry Balance

In our day to day routine we are constantly busy. As women we are generally pulled into several different directions. Then when you add ministry and pastoring to the routine, things get out of balance quickly. Some of us are in full-time ministry either a pastor, chaplin, executive minister and so on. Then there's the sisters who are truly bi-vocational ministers. This group continue to hold down their full-time positions and work full-time in ministry.
We all know how it is just working a full-time job and caring for a family or going to school in the evening or the weekend.

Think back to when you were growing up and you saw your mother, grandmother, aunt or family friends always busy doing something. Cleaning the house, preparing dinner, washing clothes and the list goes on and on. Remember how you tried to help out but were told to go sit down or go outside. You knew they needed the help but they didn't want to involve other people to get the work done. Here are some quotes you might hear when trying to help:

• "If I needed help I would ask for help"
• "If you want something done right, then do it yourself"
• " You moving too slow, I'll finish it"
• "Why are you doing it that way"
• "I've been doing this before you were born"

Do I need to say more? This type of early experience have affected us today. We as women are prone to multi-tasking. Even in ministry we multi-task to the point where we do not want to delegate the work to others. Then if we do delegate the work and people are not doing it in a timely manner, we pick it back up. This is more than our cup overflowing, it is our plate is starting to crack under the pressure.

When we overload our plates things fall off. Our prayer life is shorter, we do not spend enough time in devotion with God, calendar is double and tripled booked, we become forgetful, misplaced things and we are not able to give our full attention to all the things that's important to us. We find ourselves tired, sick and maybe depressed because we try to be that SUPERWOMAN.

God is not looking for us to be Superwomen, but RevSisters who are able to give God quality time while balancing work, family, ministry and school. That quality time will start with prioritizing what is important to us. Do you know what is important to you?

When we sit down for a minute and reflect on all the people who can help us, we are better able to serve God and God's people in a more holistic way. If we continue to burn the candle at both ends as my father use to tell me, we will burnout in the middle of something. So before you get the to point of snapping at people, rolling your neck with you hands on your hip take a minute to steal away from the hectic life and find a place of peace and rest. You are the most important person to you. Take time to create the balance needed.

Preacher, how do I create balance? Well, I'm glad you ask it starts with taking care of yourself. We are always doing things for everyone else but we neglect ourselves and our health. These are the two things we need to keep healthy so that we are not physically and spiritually bankrupt.

Here are a few things you can do and you may have others you can add to the list

• Carve out a daily quiet time with God (ie. 15 minutes a day)
• Carve out a time to exercise 3-5 days a week (ie. 15-20 min walk a day)
• Carve out a weekly family time (a day or an evening with family or close friends)
• Delegate responsibility to others
• Organize and manage time (give yourself room to breath)
• Get a hobby (bowling, golfing, crossword puzzles and etc.)
• Pamper yourself (have a spa day, one day retreat and etc.)

Take time for youself and breath again. Ministry does not end when you are on empty.